3 Reasons It Is Okay To Not Like Being Pregnant
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This post originally appeared on The Chronicles of a Babywise Mom.
I’ve often seen harsh comments made by some that say a woman has no right to complain about being pregnant. I mean, you’re carrying one of the greatest blessings in life…another life. And what right have you to complain if you planned your pregnancy? I mean, you wanted this, right? You signed up for this!
I understand the sentiment.
As a whole, I don’t like to complain. I like to try and see the positive to things.
However, I also see that for some reason, complaining about pregnancy is equated to being ungrateful. Of course, there are exceptions to the majority, but I would say that in general, this assumption is false.
It’s the same as when people give mothers a hard time for being tired. “You’re a parent, this is what you signed up for.”
But, did you? Did any of us? Nope.
No one truly understands the extent of the challenges that we each face on the journey of parenthood. That is why it is totally okay to not like being pregnant.
1) Pregnancy Is Hard
You can be fit and healthy but pregnancy can still be super challenging.
There are the obvious physical ailments such as morning sickness, the extra weight to carry around, swollen joints, round ligament pain, etc etc.
However, so often the unseen things are excluded.
Hormones play a huge role in how we feel. Did you know that there is such a thing as antenatal depression? It can make life incredibly challenging.
You can read a bit about my experience with it here –> 29 Week Pregnancy Update: Prenatal Depression?
No one knows how pregnancy is going to affect them, but I would say that most women wouldn’t say it is a walk in the park. (Read about the 5 things that surprised me during pregnancy –> HERE)
The physical aspect is only one part of it as well. Consider the mental load that motherhood brings. It isn’t something that can be fully understood by someone who has never been a mother before. I mean, research shows that a woman’s brain is physically altered when she becomes a mother. –> How Pregnancy Changes the Brain
2) Pregnancy Is Unique
I admit that I get easily frustrated when women push their experience onto someone else. Just because you didn’t feel a certain way doesn’t mean that another woman can’t or won’t.
Pregnancy is so very individual.
We experience things differently. Our situations are different.
Gosh, I’ve been pregnant three times and they’ve all had their own unique symptoms. I never felt any sort of prenatal depression with my first. That doesn’t mean that other women who experience it are any weaker than I was. It’s just that our bodies respond differently.
If you had an ‘easy’ ride, then that’s wonderful, but don’t brush away the feelings of others just because you didn’t personally experience them.
Some women feel like goddesses during pregnancy. Their skin glows and they feel like the essence of femininity. Others (like myself) feel sick and totally unlike themselves.
While I greatly value what my body is doing to grow my child, I don’t feel feminine…I feel more akin to a beached whale.
Not feeling pretty and feminine doesn’t mean that you don’t appreciate what your body is capable of. I am always amazed and the miracle of pregnancy and how a life starts with just cells and turns into a unique individual with their own personality.
Just the other day I was talking to my husband about how fascinating it is that a woman’s body knows when to go into labour. I know there are cases where inductions are necessary, but for the most part, the human body is very capable of triggering things so that labour kicks off. Just thinking about everything that has to align for that to happen blows my mind.
3) You Still Love Your Baby
If I’m being honest, if I listed out the things I would miss about pregnancy, and those I would not, the ‘would not’ list would be significantly longer.
I don’t love the fatigue, the hormone swings, the weight gain, the morning sickness, and the general lack of control.
I struggle with not being capable of some of the basic tasks of daily living.
I still love my baby.
I don’t love being pregnant, but I’m so excited that I get another child out of it.
The nine months of challenges are outweighed by that moment when I get to hold my precious child in my arms for the first time.
I might wonder why I chose to go through pregnancy again, or perhaps worry about how I’m going to cope. However, there has not been one second where I didn’t love the child I carried.
Do I complain about the pregnancy during those nine months? You betcha! However, as much as I struggle with my body image and mental health, I still have the utmost respect for the ability my body has to grow and nurture a human into existence.
So, it is okay to not love being pregnant.
I remember my mother saying that if a stork could just drop the baby off, that would be great. Ha! However, I think there is a difference between not enjoying something and not being grateful for it.
I don’t love it when it rains, but gosh I’m thankful that it makes the country I live in so green and lush!