How To Navigate The Seasons of Motherhood
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Ever heard the phrase, ‘this too shall pass‘?
I personally don’t love it because it never actually helped me in the moment. However, there is truth to it, because life really does run in seasons.
There are hardships and valleys (read about how I overcame mine –> HERE), joy and jubilation, and then sometimes it’s just mediocre.
The same can be said of motherhood.
I’m young in my journey as a mother. My eldest child is about a month away from turning 3, but oh my have I learnt a lot so far.
I’ve learnt that there are seasons and that it is up to your mindset as to how well you deal with them. Saying ‘this too shall pass‘ might be comforting to some, but I’ve always been one for practical advice and things I can implement, so that’s what I bring to you today.
Here are the tips for helping you learn how to navigate the seasons of motherhood.
1) Step Back
Perspective is a great thing.
I’ve heard it from several other mamas that when you’re in the moment, to step back and think about whether or not the current issue will matter in 5 years from now.
If it will, then keep fighting that battle, if not, let it go.
It’s also great to step back and take a look at where you are in order to give yourself a little grace.
We were recently in an extremely busy time of life with two toddlers and a renovation underway. It was impossible for me to keep on top of the housework, and I kept feeling ‘less than’ until I stepped back and realised that it was okay.
The housework will still be there once the renovation has finished.
Let. it. go.
I’m sitting here updating this post several months later and I’ve once again been reminded about how important this is. My personality dictates that success is based on productivity.
If things are not being accomplished, then I’m failing in some way.
This is not true, but it is a battle that I have to work on in my mind.
As my dear husband points out to me on a fairly regular basis:
Rest is an investment in yourself
He’s right, and the truth is that we need to invest in ourselves as mothers in order to be able to invest in our family. This is a truth that I have seen over and over again.
You can read more on the topics via the following links:
I had a day yesterday where I was ill. Not just ill, but absolutely exhausted as well. My husband left for work that morning and said “Don’t do anything.”.
That essentially means to just focus on keeping the kids alive and fed.
So I thought, sure okay, I can do that.
I had planned to sew some bassinet sheets but I took that off my list.
Instead, I just kept the 3 things that I thought were ‘vital’. They included:
- Changing the linen on the kid’s beds and washing the dirty linen
- Organising their bedroom cupboard
- Starting a blog post to be published later in the week
Only three things and I had already cut back on what I thought wasn’t necessary. However, then I stood back and realised that none of those things actually needed to be done that day. They weren’t vital.
In fact, neither was making the beds or vacuuming.
Now, I’m not saying that you need to abandon all household chores forever, but one or two days here and there are okay.
In fact, they are more than okay because we all need to rest.
2) Use Retrospect
Things make much more sense when we look back at them. I love retrospect because I can learn from it.
You can take lessons from the past and use them for the current season that you’re in. Looking back isn’t helpful unless it helps you to move forward.
Don’t focus on the mistakes that you made, but rather the lessons that you learned from them. It’s what makes us stronger as people.
Our mistakes allow us to use better judgement in the future.
I’m not going to say that I don’t have regrets about things that I have done in the past, but if I’m being honest, none of those has anything to do with my how I’ve parented to date.
Well, because I didn’t know any better at the time.
The only true regrets I have are about things that I did which went against my better judgement.
In other words, I knew better than to make that choice or pursue that avenue.
When it comes to my children, I’ve always done my best. That doesn’t mean I’ve always made the right decision, but it has given me layers of experience to stand upon.
3) Give Yourself Grace
As I mentioned above, we have been in the thick of renovations for about 6 months.
It has been hectic and trying. I have been both mentally and physically pushed to my limits most days.
And now here we are almost finished. There’s a lull, and I’m finding that I have time for things like Netflix and naps. And you know what? I’m going to enjoy it.
I’m going to give myself grace during this lull because before I know it, we’ll be going full throttle again.
We as women have bought into the lie that every minute of every day has to be filled with something productive. What we fail to understand is that rest and downtime IS productive, even essential if we’re going to continue to be able to give.
So, roll with the seasons mama, and give yourself grace.
You’ll see in this post –> How to Have a Balanced + Productive Routine as a SAHM <– that rest is something that I’ve made a concerted effort to include in my day.
If you’re really struggling to fit that in, then you might benefit from sitting down and creating a routine that is intentional and dedicated to providing a balanced day for both your family and yourself.
You can get a free daily routine template in the above-mentioned post, so go check it out if you think that might be what you’re looking for.