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Are you one of those moms that never seems to be able to properly get ready for the day?
Do you struggle to even fit a shower into your routine?
It doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, I’m going to confess that I’ve never had to skip a shower even in the crazy newborn days.
Wanna know my secrets? Well, just read on…
1) Recognise the Importance of Self-Care
Self-care is a fairly recent term.
And in truth, I’m kind of anti a lot of phrases and terms that have come about during my generation, mostly because so many of them are overwhelmingly politically correct and overly sensitive.
However, this is one that I can get on board with because it really is a topic that is so vastly important.
Read exactly how important it is here –> Why Self Care Is So Important
As a mother, it can become very confusing when you’re getting told from one corner that you need to do your very best to provide the very best for your child, but from another corner, you’re told how important it is to take care of yourself.
It does take practice and balance, but I believe it is possible to do both.
In fact, in order to give your best to your child, you really DO need to be taking care of yourself.
Motherhood is not akin to martyrdom, despite what the many memes and articles online may depict.
Yes, we do have to make sacrifices, but when those sacrifices start to wear you down to a point where you’re barely functioning, then it’s crossing a line.
Your kids need you. Whole, healthy, and joyful.
You’ll have difficult days, yes, but it shouldn’t be like that every moment of every day.
Without self-care, your children will not only be robbed of the mother that they truly deserve, but they will also be taught that self-care isn’t something that should be valued.
Remember, they learn far more from our actions than they do from what we say.
2) Make It a Priority
So, make it a priority.
Self-care should be as much a part of your day as feeding your child.
You are a human being too, and you deserve the right to be able to get dressed, get showered, and have a decent meal.
Children aren’t nearly as frail as we think. In fact, they are often times far more capable than we ever give them credit.
When life is as busy as it is when you have small children, you absolutely have to be intentional about fitting time in to do things.
Self-care is no different, and quite frankly, if you’re waiting around for someone to take over so you can have some time to yourself, you might be out of luck.
This is an area in which you need to take responsibility.
This post on Scary Mommy totally backs up my sentiments –> Dear New Mom: Please Take a Shower
As much as it is your job to love and nurture your children, it is your job to love and nurture yourself.
3) Sit Down and Figure Out a Routine
I’m a little crazy about routines. Mind you, not as crazy as some people I know, but I really do love a good routine.
My blog is a living testament to that.
I’ve had two babies so far (currently pregnant with #3) and because of our routine and some other helpful parenting tools, I’ve always been able to fit in time for myself to unwind and recharge.
Without it, I’m not a great mother.
Whether that makes me a lesser woman, I don’t really care. The point is, I know my weaknesses and when I need a break.
So, how do I fit that time in for me?
You can read all about my routine in this post –> How To Have A Balanced + Productive Routine As A SAHM
I wrote that post a little while ago and things have changed because now I’m more of a work-at-home mom. Which, in truth has made it even more important to have a solid routine for every day.
What I’m essentially trying to convey is that there will always be something that seems more urgent or important than you going to have a quick shower.
Life is like that.
So, you need to be intentional and proactive about fitting in time for yourself.
You can do this by sitting down and drawing up a basic daily routine. It doesn’t have to be set in stone or super rigid, but it’ll give you an idea of when you can fit in time for yourself.
My two big pockets of time are 9-10:15 am and 1-3 pm.
I use the first chunk of time to get ready for the day and whatever else I feel like doing.
The second period of time I generally use for relaxing, but sometimes (like today) I write for my blog.
I will admit that a large part of what makes self-care possible for me is that my kids have a solid routine where they play and rest at certain predictable times of the day.
If you’re wondering how we went about implementing that, you can read all about it in this post –> How To Start Babywise From Day One
4) Get Help
Utilizing the support that they have around them is often something that moms fail to do.
I know because I’ve been there.
However, over the years I’ve learnt to get better at asking for help when I need it.
Often people either can’t see our need, or they feel like they would be overstepping by offering assistance. Therefore, I encourage you to just be honest and ask for help.
There’s this attitude out there that because dads are often at work all day that they should be allowed to just switch off when they get home.
I respectfully disagree.
Whether you are a work-at-home mom or a stay-at-home mom you are in fact working…all. day. long.
Your spouse is a parent too and therefore when you’re both home I feel as though teamwork is the best way to tackle things.
Once the kids are in bed for the night that’s when we both get to properly relax.
Don’t be afraid to delegate duties with your spouse if it can be done. You are no less of a mother for doing so.
If you’re a new mom then you might find this post particularly helpful –> 5 Steps To Surviving The Newborn Phase
It can also be challenging to get out of the house when you have small kids. The effort of having to get them ready and then get them in and out of their car seats is enough to put me off most days.
So, when your spouse is around, ask for some time to get out on your own. Even if it’s just for an hour.
5) Do a Little Bit Everyday
Often self-care is seen as getting a manicure or massage. You picture a girls weekend or some kind of vacation.
While all of those are great ways to treat yourself, they’re often organised as a result of already being burnt out.
For self-care to be truly effective it needs to be implemented in small ways every single day.
Like I said before, it should be as much a part of your routine as it is to feed your kids (and you know that’s like all. the. time.).
If you can make time for yourself on a daily basis, you’ll be less likely to reach that point of being utterly burnt out.
For more practical tips on self-care read this post –> 6 Simple Self-Care Ideas For Busy Moms
And this one for how to take care of yourself when life is crazy –> How To Re-Fuel Mid-Air
I recognise that this post might make you feel even more pressure than you already do.
Another thing on your plate.
Mama, this isn’t just another thing to tick off. It is a hugely important part of becoming the mother and woman that you need to be.
It can be the difference between existing and truly being fulfilled and it is not something that other people are responsible for.
I urge you, take ownership and take action! You so deserve it!
Until next time!
Hi! I’m Christine. I am a former registered nurse, turned stay-at-home mom, turned work-at-home mom!
Motherhood has always been my passion and blogging has only added to that and given me a creative outlet to share about the things I love.
As my blog has grown, my desire to share the knowledge of what makes my life less stressful, simplified, and more fulfilled has become one of my driving forces.
I have a heart for mothers that feel as though they are just existing from day to day and are longing for more. You can find out more about me and my family over on my ‘About Me‘ page.
As well as the abundance of posts you’ll find on my blog, you can also find me over at Today Parenting.